Things I Hate


Every child in America deserves an education. Indigent people are entitled to a free lunch. Hell—even a homeless drunk should have a roof over his head, just like every unwed mother too lazy to buy rubbers should be able to get a free abortion or prenatal care. However, no government regardless of its size, strength or open-mindedness should be held accountable to finance reparations for every mistake its citizens make. Ladies—if you can’t afford to feed any of the seven children your last 137 boyfriends stuck you with, stop fucking and get a job. The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness doesn’t guarantee every deadbeat, do-nothing and ne’r do well in America a welfare check. If you tree huggers really want to make a difference, cut down the redwoods you’ve chained yourself to and build some houses for the homeless. I’ll cook the spotted owls you were trying to protect and we’ll feed them to the huddled masses. If you’re not handy with tools, get a job at the INS—I’m sure they could use help documenting all the illegal aliens who stitched those Earth First! banners that hang on your walls.


Tman said...

On a roll here lately Hal. I agree.

Adam said...

earth first banners! ha!