Sounds Ecclectic

80 gig iPods are overrated. I went on an iTunes bender a few weeks ago, but after giving my new music a hot lap, I still hit the same mixes: "Girl Singers," "Jazz," "Electronic," shit that's been in the mix for three decades. "Stuck in a rut," I think they call it. Well, my deepest ruts include these, and I refuse to apologize for any of it:

DEVO:



KATE BUSH:



COLTRANE & DAVIS:



ORBITAL:

Sounds Ecclectic

Food for Thought

I'm waging a one-man war on "coolifs," "yeahbuts" and "excepts," as in,

"It would be cool if somebody…"

"… Yeah but I would have done it like this…"

Or last but not least,

"I like everything you did except…"

Know what I think would be cool? Instead of coming up with ideas for other people to execute, the people who share these opinions should screw up the gumption to do it better themselves. Then when somebody comes up to them and says,

"Yeah but I would have done it like this…"

The person who did all the work can punch his critic in the dick and say,

"I like everything about you except your inability to offer assistance or constructive criticism. That's why I punched you in the dick. Sorry if my reaction to your stupid comment offended you."

Food for Thought

Just Make Motorcycles

Hey Harley, we get it—your brand only appeals to some very specific subcultures:

Geriatrics,

Overweight underachievers,

Pedophiles,

Tough guys,

Cuckold trailer trash,

Patriots,

Rapists,

And last but not least, the hygienically challenged.

Instead of making ads that make us feel different, try making motorcycles that make us feel the same.

Since most of us really are fat, flag-waving dirt old men, a stripped-down street bike with a sub-seven-grand price tag makes good sense. Build a few hundred thousand of these and sell them without all the nostalgic chest pounding and maybe, just maybe, the shield and bar might mean something again…

Just Make Motorcycles

Body by Jack

That reminds me—I'm out of Udder Butter.

Body by Jack

MOTY?

Not sure if I'm proud or embarrassed by this one, but Chris Callen, founder and publisher of Cycle Source magazine, has included this humble blogger in his venerable monthly's Man of The Year ballot. Seeing "Magoo" among such luminaries as Malcolm Smith and Arlen Ness is laughable at best. The former was a multi-time ISDT champion and star of "On Any Sunday;" the latter turned custom bike building into a cottage industry. In contrast, I've organized a couple campouts, sourced some motorcycle parts from Taiwan and vented my spleen on a cyber SocNet called ChopCult. Hardly the stuff legends are made of.

Nevertheless, I've cast my vote… for George Counes, a military vet, father, husband and builder of the best girder forks and 4130 chromoly chopper frames extant. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mr. Callen. In the words of Mike Myers, "I'm not worthy."

MOTY?

Flow Chart of The Gods

Flow Chart of The Gods

The Wisdom of Jon Bland

"Do something—you're not a badass."

An old friend of mine castigated a co-worker with this bon mot years ago, and I've marveled at the succinctness of his salvo ever since.

Unless one is a badass, doing something—anything—should indeed be every man's mission, practically from the moment he discovers his opposable thumbs.

What gets done is almost beside the point. When actions have value, they will be rewarded.

Of course, doing something can and should include doing nothing from time to time, but those times better be short and recuperative; not long and recalcitrant.

In the sage words of Nigel Tufnel, "there's a fine line between clever and stupid."

Sleeping is doing something.

Sleeping on the job is not.

Planning is productive.

Procrastination isn't.

I've been doing a lot lately. Most of it good, all of it productive, some of it rewarding, and none of it self-destructive.

Booze, for instance, is ancient history.

Unfortunately, regular exercise has also pulled out of the station. I will get that train back on track, but for now I keep things moving with writing, and a new motorbike project. Nothing aerobic about these diversions, but since my status as a non-badass is legendary, doing them seems immensely satisfying.

Thanks for the poke, Jon.

The Wisdom of Jon Bland