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Bold prediction: Lance Armstrong will challenge TdF leader Alberto Contador in tomorrow's penultimate stage on Mont Ventoux. It will take a miracle for One Ball Johnnie to cut the 5-minute gap between himself and the best climber in the world, but peloton politics are a powerful force, and every American in the pack will be jockeying to serve their master in hopes of landing a spot on the cancer survivor's shiny new Radio Shack team which it was announced today will take on the world in 2010 with Lance and his svengali Johan Bruneel at the helm.

Lance has won seven Tours, but skepticism regarding the veracity of those victories has always lingered because he lost one of his testicles to cancer. Had Lance pedaled the French countryside with two nuts like every other juiced-up freak, his results might have been very different. If rumors regarding Lance's swordsmanship with the ladies can be believed, his balls are enormous. What kind of weight advantage did the testy Texan enjoy over his full-sacked rivals? Unfortunately, the world may never know, and none of the suckle thighs that Lance has boned over the years has stepped to the podium to share details of her experience.

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