I've Been Wrong Before

Lance failed to live up to my bold prediction on Mont Ventoux today. Contador will cruise Paris with team in tow to take his second TdF championship, and domestique Lance will have to settle for third place on the podium. How will Mellow Johnny quell his ego's sorrow? My guess is he'll recuperate in the loving arms of his current girfriend Anna Hansen, or steel away for a lover's holiday with one of his other famous paramours…

Amateur photographer and clingy muse Anna Hansen

Summer fling Kate Hudson


Anorexic ex child star Ashley Olsen

Earthy, grounded folk-rock pop star Sheryl Crow

Fashion designer and wearer of bad dresses, Tory Burch

Ex-Mrs. Kristin Armstrong

Hey Lance—what was wrong with your first wife, the girl who stood by your ravaged carcass and gave you the three test tube babies doctors salvaged from your lone testicle? Did you dump her to be with your most famous lover of all…

Lance and fellow Texan Matthew McConaughey, exercising their right to be douchebags

I've Been Wrong Before