The Good Old Days

When I hear myself rail against society's knack for waste, gluttony and conspicuous consumption, my words remind me of the archetypal grandfather:

"In MY day, chicks didn't strut around in Jimmy Choos with chihuahuas in Gucci suits. Are these girls blowing their stepfathers' golf buddies to pay for that shit?"

"What's up with tuner-car kids? Put Lexanis on a Hyundai and you're still rolling in a Korean compact. I did the tuner car thing in '84. In my day it was all about the handling—bling didn't mean shit."

"Hey 'Lil Wayne, pull up your fucking pants."

Here's my idea for energizing America's wasted youth:

Two years of mandatory civil or military service for high-school dropouts and unemployed men and women under the age of 25. After serving their country or their community, each participant's first 60 credit hours of continuing education would be free.

Free child care for working parents regardless of gender, sexual preference or marital status.

It's official: I am a curmudgeon.



jenks said...


jenks said...

Or is it HEAR HEAR?