Belated Predictions for 2008…

Nostradamus I'm not, but I'm so confident in these prognostications, I'm willing to bet Stevie Wonder can see them coming:

BMX racing will be in the 2008 Summer Olympics. No one will care. Javelin throwing has been a staple in the Olympics since Sysiphus pulled a fast one on Lucifer, and I don't know anyone who likes to throw a sharp stick. Dozens of BMX-industry pundits both green and seasoned are holding their breath for their beloved sport's good fortunes post-Beijing, but it ain't going to happen. BMX had a good four-year run on ESPN X Games between 2000 and 2003. The riders who dominated that era are now an electrician and a cop.

Harley-Davidson's "Dark Customs" will not appeal to the 20-something demographic The Motor Company's marketing department is struggling desperately to impress. It'll take more than a de-chromed Sportster with short shocks and tall handlebars to get any Gen Xers to give grandpa's motorcycle a second look. Once they see its five-figure price tag, they'll text F-U-C-K-O-F-F to Harley's Myspace page faster than Willie G. can say, "Pass the crow."

Texting—not text books—will be why society sees a decline in teen pregnancies and STD's. Myspace, Facebook, iPhones, YouTube… technology has rendered physical interaction nearly obsolete. Hell—five years ago I would have been ranting about this shit in a bowling league or a bar. Kids today are so busy making their BFFL's LTFAO they don't have the time or desire to dream about actual—not cyber—pussy.

Barrack Obama will be the next President of the United States. Neither Hillary's experience nor John McCain's unpopular but practical logic can trump the Senator from Illinois' rhetoric of hope. Anyone who has a problem with that should be reminded why George Bush beat Al Gore in 2000: he and his Republican party were the only ones who could return "Compassionate Conservatism" to the White House. Empty rhetoric? Where have I heard that one before?

1 comment:

Tman said...

You know you might get more comments if this thing was linked up to the rest of the web!?!?!??!

I lost 7 years.................i was unpacking and found Road Fools 2,3,4............I thought to myself "self, I havent watched these in 5 years.............WTF?" OK ShoeG just referenced Clinton as President.......well, it has been more than 5 years then.........Saw some dude as lame on a 20" as me, kinda looks like a relative of yours.

Anyway, your predictions 1 and 2 yes, #3 you may have it as well...........time will tell.