Things I Hate


With all due respect to Sir Mix-A-Lot, unless we’re having sex, I don’t want to see your ass. Ever. So ladies, ladies, if you want to ride in my Mercedes, please stop wearing hip hugger jeans and T-back panties if your butt is bigger than a bread truck. Same rule applies to barrel-bellied beer guzzlers in wifebeaters and Greek dudes in banana hammocks. Tube tops and back tats on pasty-fleshed fatties of either sex are also offensive. If you’re thinking about squeezing into that sexy Lycra cat suit, try this simple test first: stand up and look down at your feet. if your gut blocks the view to your junk, you’re too fat. You can’t have your Ding Dongs and your Diesel jeans, too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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