Things I Hate


Of all the adornments worn by men to express individuality and youthful vitality, thumb rings rank among the most despicable. Functionally speaking, they don’t even compare to their equally fey cousin, the ascot. At least a silk neckerchief can be used to soak up the blood after someone kicks your ass for wearing one. Men who wear thumb rings are known to accessorize with another functionally dubious and stylistically banal object, the O-ring bracelet. Both of these affectations are meant to say the wearer is “alternative,” “artistic” or perhaps even “hard-core.” They don’t. Instead, the simply say, “I’m a fuckface.”

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