10.22.2010

All-Nighters and BIC lighters

After lighting both ends of the candle last night, I burned the midnight oil 'til 5:00 a.m. The combination of rapid-fire dialogue on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," two Monster Javas and a fist-sized slab of fudge cake made me froggy, so I jumped up and started typing. Missions accomplished include one ChopCult feature, three personality profiles in the pipe, and a mini-rant on the state of chopper lameness on Facebook.

The whipping boy in the latter part of last night's bender is a man named Cyril Huze. On his blog the French chopper chef cooks press clippings from the big-twin trenches with poetically crafted lead-ins. Anything smart Cyril has to say about Lexan mag wheels, Sons of Anarchy autograph parties or vintage tit mice is usually followed by 20 addle-headed comments from the denim-and-leather peanut gallery. It's the same old thing, and it's lame.

If I were a Huge Chopper King, my proclamations would include these:

No more flame print polyester dress shirts

No more fringed leather chaps

No more stony straps

No more burnouts. Yes, even reverse burnouts, Bert Baker:



No more anvil tosses, roller derby demos or wet t-shirt contests

No more neon light kits

No more bagger/bobber/chopper debate—my new descriptor for ALL motorized two-wheeled machines would simply be "motorcycle"

I realize that being the editor of one web-based news resource and railing against another is chicken shit politics plain and simple, but I've already called caffeine and sugar to the stand in my defense.

Now that I've walked the dog and hit the jacuzzi, however, I stand by my original assertion:

Blogs like M. Huze's do nothing more than perpetuate the "brash biker" stereotype that painted Harley-Davidson into its shrinking corner in the first place.

What I'd say to Cyril is the same thing I say to all bloggers:

Anyone can make a statement. It takes real work to make a difference
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2 comments:

Flatironmike said...

thank you! um, did i say that out loud?

Allen said...

But I never knew my motorcycle riding boots were not waterproof, and that jesse james pictures with the spread wide babe, pit bull, graffiti paint, classic care, guns, van shoes, dead kennedys shirt, greased hair, is missing a major fucking biker mandatory. Where in the HELL is the flannel shirt JJ? WTF? Some kids today can't get it right. Go Hump and you'll never go Back.