2.25.2009

The Evolution of Theories

Had he evolved in the same fashion as a tree or a sea turtle, Charles Darwin would have turned 200 last week. Instead, the Father of Natural Selection died at the age of 73. Still, seven decades was two lifetimes in the 19th century, and Darwin plowed his fertile mind for all of it.

Me, well… not so much.

I've been observing the origin of species, too, but none of my theories regarding their evolution are likely to change the course of mankind. Put these crackpot concepts in your cyber time capsule and dig them up in 50 years. Assuming the Internet still exists in 2059, I'd love to know how many of my hair-brained notions prove true…

By 2014, a major US telephone company will introduce a device that delivers unlimited texting for less than five dollars per month. This disposable device will have a QWERTY keyboard, a six-month battery and no phone, photo or Internet capability.

By 2025, Congress will legislate a national dress code for public-school students.

By 2020 the Chrysler Corporation will no longer sell cars—only Jeeps and light-duty Dodge trucks.

There will be over 500 channels on basic digital cable in 2012, but less than ten new reality programs. Instead, niche archive film networks, scripted dramas, sitcoms and high-stakes game shows will rule the airwaves.

Bobby Jindal will be the 45th President of the United States.

Ford will have four vehicles in the US automotive top-10 by 2015: a sedan, a compact crossover, a two-door coupe and a light-duty truck. Hybrid and/or electric variants of these vehicles will account for less than 20% of all sales volume.

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