Things I Hate


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Cracked, calloused heels. Thick, yellow toenails. Bunions, blisters and hammer toe. Cheesy buildup. Filth. If your feet display any combination of these atrocities, there’s something you can do about it: stop wearing sandals. Forcing the rest of us to suffer your podiatric peculiarities is simply wrong. Ladies, no 12-dollar French pedicure can hide the fact that your twisted toes are slithering past the ends of your strappy stilettos and leaving scratch marks on the linoleum. Guys, only two men in history could make sandals work: Jesus and Spartacus—and one of them was a back scrubber at a Roman bath house. If you’re not The Son of God, save yourself the embarrassment and the rest of us the nausea by hiding your hairy buckshanks in a pair of decent-looking sneakers. No one wants to see your feet.


Anonymous said...

Yuck these skanky feet made me feel sick how can you let your feet get in to this state

Anonymous said...

How shallow.
Like I care if you want to see my feet.
I'd rather keep them well ventilated, then smothered in some sneakers.

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Anonymous said...

how nasty how can u wear shoes people dont want to see that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!